Remember Me Once In A While (Killian)

[Amara Ramirez]

Amara meandered about the gardens in the courtyard. It felt nice to be out tonight even if it was a bit chilly. She had tried avoiding the garden for some reason but she felt compelled to see what it was she was so afraid of. Something about gardens always seemed to irk her though she could never place her finger on the feeling. Even the smell of flowers made her random thoughts bubble to the surface. Something about being in the big city had surfaced something though she couldnt tell if her dreams and thoughts were real or just passing fancies. Running a hand through her cropped hair Amara took one lap around staring at the blooms that opened only to the night air. She was surprised that they could bloom in the winter. Not many flowers did that. She supposed its what made these few unique.

Upon finding a bench Amara sat and looked up at the sky. One thing about living in the city was the fact that she missed the stars sorely though seeing the lights made her feel at home almost. Some nights though she couldnt help but feel being boxed in. Wiggling her toes in her Converse Amara shifted and brought her knees up to her chin squeezing her entire body to sit on the bench. She wrapped her sweatered arms around her knees and grinned. Perhaps there really was no reason to avoid the garden. She hadnt experienced any unpleasant thoughts or "memories". Just a bone settling calm that she hadn't felt in a while. She had never had to worry about slayers in the country and it felt good to keep them out of her mind for tonight. Turning her head Amara could see the small head of a pink bloom poking over the top of the bench seat. Smiling softly Amara plucked it from its stem and tucked it behind her ear. Living in London was the start of a whole new life.

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]Killian had been coming around the mansion more than what he expected to. It did seem safe, after all. He had even stayed during a day once, and the wolves were definitely well behaved, save for the fact that they hated vampire guts. He smiled inwardly as he thought about Arion and how her raven hair was beautiful. He was hoping to meet her again one of these days. Since that night, he really hadn't thought of anyone else. Almost every thought about Eva had disipated. Maybe he could find retribution in another. Killian shook his head. He did not want to be rid of her memory though. He was still deeply in love with her, despite her being dead for over 50 years. He could still remember the way she smelled of lilies and the way her body felt underneath his weight. Killian shivered, but not from the cold. He could no longer feel cold nor pain. Well, emotional pain.

It was a small time later when Killian arrived at the mansion. He began to walk up the path towards the door. He wanted to see if anyone else may show up. But then he noticed something peculiar. There was the smell of another nearby, but in a place he had yet to explore. Killian avoided gardens. They brought back memories of her. But somehow, he felt pulled into this one. As if the very thought of not doing so would make him regret it for the rest of his life. His foot hit the path and he immediately smelled the night blooming flowers. They showered the path in brilliant shades of purple, blue and red. But there was another flower among them, something he had not smelled in a long with. Around another bend, he stopped dead in his tracks. Killian shut his eyes and reopened them, and still could not believe what he saw, who he saw. On the bench a little more than ten feet from him, sat Eva. Her knees pulled to her chin, hair shorter than what he remembered. He felt immobile. was his mind playing tricks. He watched her smile, that very same smile she used to give him, as she plucked a flower and placed it behind her ear. Could he be dreaming? Killian walked forward and stopped a few feet from the bench. "Eva?" he whispered. He wanted to touch her, to hold her. He wanted to cry. Killian could already feel the tears welling. Was she back to haunt him or was she real?[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Amara jerked at the sound of the sudden voice. Her green eyes collided with this mans shocking blue. They seemed so familiar. Had she seen him before? She couldn’t have. London was much to large to run into another person such as him. She stared at him for a good solid minute before remembering that he had said something. A name? Eva. Cautiously Amara stood up in case she had to fight but to be honest she felt more of a pull to this beautiful vampire…yes she was sure he was a vampire…rather than running away. Her hands hung limply to her sides as she stared at him trying to place his face. That face that looked as if it had been carved in heaven. Those beautiful eyes that Amara felt she could drown in forever. Jerking herself back to reality Amara spoke. I’m sorry do I know you…? she asked feeling sheepish as if it were an old friend whom she had forgotten the name of. That was always an awkward moment. A name she felt she should know but one that she couldn’t grasp though it balanced precariously on the tip of her tongue. She bit her lip staring at him again wondering just what was going to transpire this night. He must have had her confused with another.

Silence had fallen upon the gardens like a thick snow would have. Here she was facing someone she knew was a complete stranger yet…he was not a stranger to her heart. Amara stared at him analyzing everything about him. Even if she was blind she would have been able to tell by the sound of his clear voice that he was incredibly handsome. His eyes though inspiring and dazzling as well seemed to hold naught but sorrow and pain. Inwardly Amara wondered what had happened to make such a one as him sad. Surely he could have had the world at his finger tips. Lifting her hand to brush a lock of hair away from her face Amara accidently knocked the flower out from behind her ear. She watched as in slow motion the flower fell to the hard cobblestones beneath her feet with what sounded like a crash. Instead of bending to pick it up again Amara just stared at the flower at her feet. It was comparable to the man before her. Though beautiful and familiar…she had no idea what she was to do with it. She knew if her heart still beat it would be beating loud enough for all of this side of London to hear.

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]The world seemed to shatter in front of him like a glass as it falls from a hand. It shattered into millions of pieces, jagged and confused. Killian saw the confusion in her green eyes. Did she not remember him? Her voice was like music to his ears yet the pain in his still heart could not be ignored. A silent tear fell from his eye as the flower fell from her ear. He remembered every time she had done that exact thing to her hair. It was his Eva, yet not the same. Killian studied her face for many silent moments, letting the silence drag between them as he stared, trying to think of how this could have happened. He remembered sharing words of love with this woman, yet she had nothing. No recollection, no familiarity. Yet...he saw it in her eyes that she knew she should know him. "Eva..." he repeated, whispering the sweet word in the roll of her native tongue, something he remembered swooning her with the very first night they met. The cathedral and valted ceilings, Central Park in the moonlight, his mind flooded with memory after endless memory. Things he thought he had forgotten and would never remember again until he saw her face. Her soft almond eyes stared quizzically at him.

Slowly, he moved toward her, afraid that if he moved any faster he would scare her off like a rabbit. Killian had never felt so relieved and devastated at the same time. Another tear slid down his cheek as he stooped to pick up the flower where it fell near her feet. The smell of lilies infiltrated his senses, engulfing him in rich memories of long nights with her. Killian's memory flash a moment of pure intimacy, the sound of her soft moan in his ear. His muscles seized as he fought the urge to take her in his arms. He straightened slowly and could not help but stare in her eyes as he replaced the flower, his fingertip barely brushing the soft curve of her ear. He shivered once again, breath shuddering as he exhaled. Killian didn't want to cry, but the silent tears streamed down his cheeks. He must have been a sore sight. "You're...alive." Those two words were the breaking point. He sunk to his knees and wept. He had not wept in years. Not in half a century had he shed so many tears. Killian's body wracked in sobs. She was real. She was real.[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Once again the man repeated the same name. Eva. The way he said it was with the Mexican accent that she used even now. It had faded over the years but it was still there. Faintly thriving like the memories behind the veil she could not pull away. Gritting her teeth at not being able to understand what the hell was going on Amara watched him. Unable to move or even respond for that matter. She could imagine herself correcting him. Standing straight and saying "Amara" in a firm and commanding voice. She was not this Eva that he whispered about...or to. She could see in the cold moonlight that small tears were on his cheeks. Had she made him cry? Amara resisted the urge to reach out to him. To comfort him. What could she say though? She was not this woman that he thought he knew. She was not his Eva. She was Amara. That she knew for certain. Still something about his eyes captivated her. She stared at them and quickly realized that she knew the reason why they seemed familiar. These were the same beautiful eyes that her own daughter had. The girl had grown to live a life of her own though she did try to call her mom as often as she could. How could Amra forget those eyes? And how had this man obtained the same?

Amara watched with uncertain eyes as he slowly moved forward and picked up the flower. She was frozen in place as his gentle hand replaced the flower to its spot behind her ear. Soft finger tips brushed gently over her ear and Amara shivered and was lost into another world. Candle light flickered over broken angel statues. The sound of rain pouring on the rooftop of what looked to be a Gothic cathedral. It was familiar. Everything about it screamed that she should know it. And she did. She was still herself but a different understanding was there in her mind. Intense passion. For what? A man. Amara lifted these eyes that were her own yet unfamiliar to her. There he was. This blue eyed man that looked so much like her daughter. He turned to look at her and broke into a soft smile. A come hither smile. It seemed to whisper to her. "Come...I won't let anything hurt you." Amara knew this man now. No name still but everything about him. Every fiber of her being told her that she knew him whether her mind refused the idea or not...she loved this man. Amara gasped as she realized that this man was on his knees before her sobbing. What had she done? Quickly Amara dropped to her knees before him and cupped his face gently with her hands. Don't cry please...eveything is fine... she whispered softly trying to soothe the pain that she seemed to feel with him. A small tear leaked out of her own eyes as well and Amara wiped it away with wonder. Everything about him made her feel alive again. As if she were human and whole and not a wanderer of the night.

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]He felt so lost, kneeling before her. Everything he had ever known came flooding back to him. Yet it was so alien. He had never felt so isolated in his memories. Killian wanted to spill his heart out to her, let her feel his pain. She was his in every way. They were to marry and now there was nothing between them. Killian still had his ring, sitting in a small case in the back of his dresser drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. He placed it there as a keepsake. He remembered proposing to her. It was in his quiet apartment. She sat on his couch and he knelt before her, pouring his soul into her hands. He even remembered the diamonds on her engagement ring that he had hand picked. Killian remembered details that normal humans had no recollection of. When you can live forever, what else is there to think about? His mind flashed from the cathedral to the stroll in the flowers, to the moment when he made her a vampire, showing her to hunt, the awful misunderstanding in the park, the sex...no, the making of love they shared on many nights. His muscles seized again and he hugged himself tightly. Anything to make it so his hands did not wander, did not tug or need upon her.

But it was her hands that touched his face. Killian remembered every detail about those delicate hands that he so carefully stroked and played with on almost every night they were together. They were so soft, softer than he remembered. They knew no memory of guns or gripping tightly to criminals. He could guess that she had not been in that gig for a long while. Killian heard her words, almost frantic and scared. But he could not help but cry. Her hands cradled his face with such care that he had forgotten existed. His eyes opened for a moment to stare into hers once more, hot tears still spilling down his cheeks and outlining her thumbs that were pressed to his face. They were concerned, saying everything was fine and was going to be fine. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted her to remember him. "Nothing can be fine. Not when you don't remember me." What had happened to his love? Killian had thought for years that she had been dead. Dead! and here she knelt in front of him, same soft and angelic face that he had froze in time with his acursed kiss of vampirism. A kiss....without warning, he leaned forward and caught her lips in his own, becoming flooded with her past. He saw the vague memories of himself there. He saw his daughter and how beautiful she was, the lie Eva was living. Amara was her name. Killian forced the memories from his mind and put a hand on her neck, carressing and hoping she would remember his touch. He was pleading for her to remember as more tears spilled down his face, never removing himself from her soft lips.[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Amara watched him holding his face gently in her hands willing him to forget whatever he thought she was. She was not Eva. She was Amara. How could he not understand that? His eyes were so pleading and filled with pain Amara bit back a cry of despair herself. She wiped away his tears gently with her thumbs willing him to forget it. How many times had she soothed her daughter over the loss of a loved one. From the first goldfish to her first love. Now she did it here in the garden with a stranger. His pained words almost burned her ears. She wanted to rip these memories away from behind their shroud and know what he tried to tell her but it was not hers to know yet. She felt like bawling herself as well but what use were two pairs of crying eyes? Amara tried not to think ill of fate. What had happened? Who was this man whom she loved yet did not know? Her dead heart ached to know all. Suddenly his lips were pressed against hers. Every fiber of his body was thrown into this kiss. He willed her to know all but she couldn’t remember! Her mind stretched to know. Another vision filled her mind. She could feel the touch of skin on her own. Two bodies intertwined so completely that they formed almost one being. Everything was so vivid. The smells of the room…the music. Amara looked already knowing who her partner was. His eyes locked with hers again and Amara smiled feeling comfort wash over her. Making love was never like that. At least not that she recalled. She had tried to attach herself to another man and numerous had tried to be with her but things had never worked out. Even other vampires could not meet the invisible standard she had made. There was always one she had longed for but could never find. Amara knew from this memory that this man was the one. Soft kisses were showered all over in this memory and quiet moans made her shiver.

Amara jerked away from his kiss standing swiftly. Too swiftly. She stumbled then righted herself once more standing with her back turned to him. She didn’t want these thoughts anymore. She didn’t know him. Who was this blue eyed stranger that she felt so compelled to know and be with? Wheeling to face him Amara felt tears spring to her eyes. Who are you? she yelled though she was not angry. She wanted everything to be clear. Why couldn’t life just be simple anymore? Why did she have to burn in an eternity of memories that she didn’t know or understand? Please she said quieter now. What are these visions in my head? she asked whispering the last part and bringing her hand to her forehead. Surely if anyone were to know…it must be he. Amara didn’t wait for an answer she wheeled and walked several paces away from the man before turning to face him again. It felt like she had to choose between fighting or just running away. She had chosen to run away her entire life. There was always something to bring these memories to her. She could never forget it. Any soft music. Candle light. The sound of a church bell ringing. She purposefully avoided these things hoping that her memories would fade. These memories that she wish she could burn from her mind because although they were beautiful…she didn’t understand them. People…even vampires feared what they did not understand. Please…who are you…an angel? A hallucination? A slayer? Perhaps one of “them”? she questioned feeling weariness creep into her voice. Right now the beautiful stranger supplied the answers she needed and she just wanted to be free from them.

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]And in an instant, she tore herself away from him, stumbling yet staying on her feet. His hand hovered in the air where it had been placed on her neck. She yelled at him, lost and confused. Killian sat back on his heels, not knowing whether to give up all hope. But the kiss felt so right. Everything about her was right except her mind and what her imagination let her believe. Who had erased her memory and planted this new one? How could he ever make her remember him? But that was just it. A part of her did remember, he knew it in the way she had bared it for a moment before tearing herself from the familiarity. Killian watched her as she paced for a moment before looking at him again, eyes accusing him of everything, anything, and nothing at the same time. He wanted her to remember him so badly it hurt his very soul. But this was not going to be an easy task. Eva, or Amara, was staring at him, demanding him to answer every question she had in the look of her emerald eyes. They glowed in her anger and confusion, sparking more memories of bitter nights and long kisses under the moon. He could remember the taste of her blood and the thought of her feeding on his. Killian stood slowly to confront her, yet words seemed to fail him.

He listened to her accusations. Angel, slayer, "them". None of these described him. She knew he was a vampire. But even their kind can be many different things. They can even cast hallucinations. But he was not one of those either. Killian was not an evil mind trick sent to play on this poor woman who did not know who she truly was. But there was knowledge in her eyes that she recognized him. Even for a moment she had. Killian just couldn't tear his mind from the daughter he had seen in her memories. He wished he had known her, had been there for her while she grew. He wanted to be the one to threaten her first boyfriend and buy her a puppy. But Killian couldn't have any of it. It was not a part of his past that he was allowed to touch. Whoever made him believe she was dead was to blame for that. "Forgive me, Eva." He kicked himself mentally for that one. "I mean, Amara. I didn't mean to be so...forceful." Oh, but he had meant to be forceful. He wanted her to remember their past. So badly he could rip himself apart. "I am no figment of your imagination, yet you were one of mine for so many years. I never thought I would be able to touch or see you ever again." He paused, moving steadily closer to her. He didn't want to be in her face again; he had seen what something like that could lead to. Pain filled his eyes and tears threatened to fall once more. "I am Killian. Can't you remember me?" He wanted to take her by the arms and shake his name into her. Killian, Killian, Killian! But what good would it do? He faltered a little, looking away from her power, and sat on the bench from where he first encountered her. "Can't you remember my touch, or my voice, or my eyes?" He looked up at her again, hands twisting in his lap. "Can't you remember my love?" Killian knew he was alone, now, more than he had when he had thought she was dead. Now she stood in front of him, reincarnate, a vampire made by his own. Had given her a child that looked so much like him yet had the Spanish skin and softness of his Eva. Of his Amara. This was not going to be easy, but he would do anything to have her to hold once again.[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Amara watched him feeling herself cool a little bit if at all. It wasn’t exactly his fault she didn’t know these things. He just brought back the memories. Why couldn’t she remember him? She wasn’t surprised when he corrected himself to her name. A lot of vampires just had to look at you and know your name. Maybe he had learned things from that kiss. Amara sucked in a sharp breath watching him. She could tell he struggled to keep his emotions at bay. For her? What other emotions could he possibly have? He just started to cry in front of her a moment ago. As he spoke again Amara crossed her arms over her chest feeling confused again. She had never seen him before but in her dreams just now come. The thoughts before were only small instances. Looking at the moon and the sound of laughter. Standing close to someone only knowing that they were part of a dance. Even the feeling of fangs pressed against her skin had made her shiver. Was that where she knew this man from? Was he her creator? It was painfully obvious how much he loved her. If he had loved her so much then why had he created her? Who would give up a human life willingly for…Amara’s thoughts trailed off as she realized that she herself would give up human happiness to live eternity with the one she loved. One question remained though. If she had loved him then why couldn’t she feel it now? Amara knew the answer anyway. Love grew over time. Passion was the heat of the moment and from it sprang love but it was the small things. The details. Whispering long into the night, taking walks, that was how love grew.

When he spoke his name Amara jerked her head up slightly. That name! That was the name that had perched on her lips for so many years! How could she have forgotten it? Every syllable was a shout of joy to her now. A sweet symphony. Her short elation was brought to a stop as he asked her if she remembered him. She wanted to be able to say yes. She remembered all these things. Most of all she wished she could remember his love but it felt nonexistent to this body that she was beginning to feel was not her own. Slowly pieces of the puzzle began fitting together little by little. She could only feel these memories if she had been a part of him at some time. It was normally customary for the creator of another vampire to let their creation drink of their own blood first. If this man…Killian…had indeed created her then of course she would remember these small things. These scenes in her head could only be real and after all her beautiful daughter did strikingly resemble him. Those eyes that were so hypnotizing. Amara realized she was staring into them now. She shivered realizing that at one point…they must have been lovers. More than lovers. They had been in love. Then why could she not remember anything of him!? Amara gritted her teeth in anger. We were in love… she said plainly. That much was true but she didn’t know him now. But I don’t know you she stated with finality. Inside her head she pleaded with him to understand. I want to know you but I am not Eva! Can’t you just know me as Amara! In frustration and emotional exhaustion Amara sat down on the bench and small cry of anger. Was her eternal life damned to be complex then?

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]It was a start. She was in pain, emotional pain. Her voice expressed it profusely. He did not mean for this to hurt her, but in the end it was hurting the both of them. Killian was fighting the urge to smack the amnesia out of her, while wanting to hold her delicately in his arms. It was true...they had been in love. But maybe this was a sign for him to move on. To forget Eva. He did not want to forget her, but Amara was making it obvious that she no longer existed. The woman he loved was no longer the woman in front of him. The face, body, voice, eyes...everything was the same as Eva's, but some how the soul had changed into someone called Amara. Then again, 50 years of being called one thing hits home harder than 22 years of another. Killian felt pained when she said she did not know him. But would she ever know him? Were they destined for this encounter alone and never again? He did not want to think about that. He wanted only to think about the possibility of having her back. Even if it was a different name. She was still the same person. He had to believe that to be true.

When she sat next time, butterflies jumped in his stomach. He forgot what it meant to just sit close to her and feel every emotion she had swirl around her. As her creator, Killian had the ability to know these things. He could smell her confusion and see the way her body read that this situation was steadily growing more and more uncomfortable for her. This was something she was not expecting to deal with. Probably never for the rest of her life. But love can bring people together. He had not seen her in New York for 50 years, so maybe London was their fresh start. But all he wanted was to be able to hold her close. He looked at her for a brief moment, wanting to touch her hand, to show her the memories they had together. "Can..." his voice faltered. Was doing this going to be worth it? Would she still look at him with those same eyes of fear? But then it occurred to him: memories of them being together would only make it harder, but memories of who she was would help her understand who he saw. "Can I show you the woman I remember?" He did not bother to name her this time. Amara had gotten the idea that he knew this Eva, whom clearly had no place in this woman's body anymore. But...just maybe...he could help coax something out of her. The nights he watched over her on patrol, watching her smile brilliantly every time they vowed their love, her soft lips planting so many thousands of meaningful kisses on his lips. He would not let her get away not knowing that she had meant something to him, something more than being able to live eternally.[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Amara stared down at the ground between her knees. She focused on the cracks between the individual stones. At least the ground made sense still. How could she have so many feelings and not understand any of them. Not one. She had never felt this way with anyone before. The turmoil that filled her pained her so much but she knew that it must be a healing process that she had missed at some point in her life. She had never really had any traumatic events happen to her so she realized she must not be remembering something. Amara clenched her fists feeling like she might punch a wall out of anger. She didn’t lose her cool often. Then there was the ring. She had completely forgotten about it till just tonight. It was beautiful. Amara had always wondered how she had gotten it. She hadn’t even really noticed she was wearing it until her daughter had noticed it. All the diamonds had caught the child’s attention. The day that Esperanza had noticed the ring on her mother’s finger Amara had taken it off and hid it in her sock drawer. Amara had never looked at the ring since. She didn’t want to think of who she was thinking might have given her the ring. Thinking of Killian as a forgotten part of her life thrilled her and frightened her all the same. If she had forgotten about who he was and possibly who she was then what else had she forgotten? Could she really be this Eva person? And if she was then how could she get her lost memories back? Who better to help her than the blue eyed angel before her?

His offer made her turn her head to look at him. Perhaps he was a mind reader after all. Amara closed her eyes debating. What was he trying to say to her? How could he possibly show her what she used to be? Unless he really was her creator he should have none of her memories. Sometimes even the creators didn’t get the privilege to share in their creations past. The way he spoke told her that he wasn’t willing to give this up. He could see that whatever she did know was beginning to expand into perhaps a larger knowledge of who this Eva was. And then she wondered just what he planned. His kiss had been enchanting but the memories were still fresh and painful. She didn’t want to be hurt by a past she did not understand. She stared deep into his blue eyes and knew that he wanted nothing more than for things to go back to the way that he knew they should be. If he planned to continue his pursuit of this she hoped he would be patient because Amara had never been very big on such drastic changes. I… Amara choked on her words and swallowed to try again. Please…show me she said softly watching him with cautious eyes. Her mind ached to know what this entire night was supposed to be about. Was this love that she felt inside or was it just the confusion that came with the idea of having a life she did not know of? Amara never did have an explanation for the night that she had awoken inside a dumpster in the heart of New York City. She left by the next night trying to stay away from people feeling as if they judged her for something she didn’t know. Perhaps Killian was this missing puzzle piece to her life that she had felt was missing.

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]She seemed eager to know, yet at the same time scared for her life. It was hard for her, he knew. There was no way to get around him though. He was a stubborn old man now. Killian liked having his way. And god be damned if he wasn't going to have his woman back. He loved her, so deeply, that it pained his still heart that there was no recollection of him anywhere in her mind. He knew that she felt a connection, but had no idea from where or when in her life. And for a woman to not remember back beyond a night in her life was tragic. She forgot her sister, her parents, her life as an officer, everything that Killian had taken only months to learn about her. Killian remembered the chance meeting of her sister, Mriah, in the subway. They were so similar and yet they never spoke to each other. He slowly began to wonder if they had ever encountered each other ever again. But Eva...Amara wanted to know. Killian almost began to doubt wanting to let her know. Maybe it would be better if she were left in the dark. What would happen if she regained her memory, yet she did not have the same feelings anymore. Their love had developed over a very short period of time, and the moment that Eva had offered to give up her mortality for him, he had become consumed with her and the life they were going to lead together.

He smiled softly at her, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Learning the truth about one's past seemed exciting to Killian, yet maybe for Amara it would prove detrimental. But he needed her to remember him. He took her hand gently in his and looked deeply into her eyes. A small smile stayed on his lips, and he slowly let the memories course through their connected hands. Eva... he whispered in her head. Then life took the scene, and he showed her the day they first met in the skate park. He did not bother to insert the dialogue, but showed her the gentle smiles they traded, then the race to the cathedral across the street when it began to hail. They studied and spoke together, getting closer and Killian's gentle touch as he brought her neck to his lips, then fighting it away. He confessed himself, and he showed Amara the trust in her eyes that she gave him not to act on his instinct until she was ready for it. They kissed...he focused on that kiss...

...Killian jumped the memory to a night he watched over. He gave Amara the images as he watched his lover chase down criminals, slamming them into concrete and cuffing their wrists. Then her return to his arms, their kisses...their movements in his bedroom. Eva... he whispered once more, emphasizing the name with images of the smile that was only meant for him. He missed that smile so much as he too watched these memories flood before them...

...He showed her a night of their intimacy. The soft kisses they planted on necks and bodies. Killian's careful fingers as they stripped her and felt between her legs. The looks of ecstasy on her face and his. The rhythm of their bodies as he moved within her, holding her still with a hand on her stomach, giving Amara the image of her own face contorted with ripe emotion and pleasure. He held her sweating body to his as nails dug into his back and moans emitted into his ear. Such love radiated between them to share such acts of pure romance...

...and acts of pure trust. He flashed to the night he changed her. Killian remembered the events of the night. The change, the couple under the tree, taking her to the city and he going off on his own, meeting again and the argument they had. Their first argument. It was a night he hated to remember, but hard to forget, and he needed her to know what happened. He showed her rejecting the first meal she had in the bushes and the pain in her eyes. The sun was starting to rise as well. He covered her with his jacket and picked her up, carrying her down the street. He gave the impression of the heat as the sun broke over the horizon and they were trapped. He made sure the jacket covered her, and he ran. Killian's skin burned and melted and ashed away. He skipped ahead to his recovery. The way Eva laid cold wet towels over his scorched skin, Killian ignoring her trips to the bathroom to divulge. They were so in love...

...so much that he proposed to her. He had wanted a romantic night. And proposing to her was the best thing he had ever done in his life. Killian focused on her face, the beautiful smile, the surprise in her eyes as he gave her the rinng, silver band with a set of diamonds. It glittered in light and dark, to remind her of his love for her. She was so happy...

Killian let go of Amara's hand. He opened his eyes to look at her. She was still beautiful even in her confusion. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he stayed where he was. "I know it's a lot to take in all at the same time. But I wanted you to see everything. The best parts and the worst. What we were made of." He leaned forward a little in his eagerness. "I want us to be together again, but I'll understand if it cannot happen." All he could do was wait for her reaction.[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Amara watched him with curious eyes. How was he planning on showing her? Another kiss or just telling her by word of mouth? Her eyes searched his piercing blue ones and as if on cue she closed her eyes. Killian spoke her name…Eva and she opened her eyes. Memories flooded her mind. Everything from childhood memories to the memory of New York though everything was through Killian’s point of view. She went along for the ride. From the day that they first met in the park all the way to the night that he proposed to her. She enjoyed all the memories that he shared with her. She saw herself through his eyes and not her own. How he truly felt about her and Eva felt something melt inside of her. She hoped her memories were coming back. Killian only saw beauty in the face that was her own though Eva felt as if it were someone completely different now. How could she be a cop? Eva was afraid of guns! She didn’t have time to wonder at the differences because her eyes snapped open unwillingly.

She stared at Killian through her own eyes and Amara saw love. The man that she loved. The man that had been missing from her empty life. Esperanza had filled half the hole but Killian filled it all. Amara realized that Killian must have been the girl’s father. All of the memories that Killian had shown her had disappeared and replaced them with her Amara memories. Not the memories of her beautiful past. She wanted them back so badly. I…can’t remember them…us…they were your memories…I cannot hold them even if I wished it to be so…they are yours to keep she whispered feeling that if she spoke aloud that the world that hung around them would shatter and rip Killian away. The more she stared at him the more Amara realized that she loved him. No not Amara. Eva. Her old self was returning to existence though she could not expect it to come so swiftly. That would come with time. Time and being around Killian. He brought out these lovely memories that Eva wanted to stay in forever. I can’t leave you…being around you helps me remember everything…I don’t want to lose you…again Eva said lifting her hand to brush Killian’s cheek lightly. Yes she was Eva and not Amara. Not anymore.

[Killian Jones]

[limegreen]He saw only pain in her eyes. She could not remember. No matter how bad she wanted to have those memories returned to hers, she could not provoke them with his. But Killian also saw that one part of her remembered him. Not herself now, but the one he remembered. It was going to be a slow moving process to get his Eva to return, but Amara was still the same person. Some things he was sure changed, but she was still Eva no matter what way he looked at it. Her mind was still blooming and curious. Her mind and her heart were willing and wanting to remember him. She didn't want to be without him, and Killian almost jumped out of his skin with joy. She didn't want to leave him again. But could he convince her to be with him? Truly and forever once again? Eva had been the one to promise that so many years ago. So many years he had spent wishing and hoping she had been there with him. And now that she was within reach, he still could not touch her. Not the same person he had been with, but a new person with new beliefs in her place. The once fearless Eva became the feared killer Amara. The thought of Mriah crossed his mind once again. She had been one of those feared killers, every victim dead and even the others knew of her now. Had she been forgotten when Eva was lost?

He smiled reassuringly at Amara. It would all come back with time. He could see Mriah in her now more than before, but not as the sister she felt disconnected with. Amara looked confident now that she had made the decision to stay with Killian and try to uncover the memories they once had together. Her own memories. "You won't lose me again. I promise you that," he whispered. But he couldn't fight the urge any longer. As soon as his sentence was spoke, Killian reached up with a gentle had and brushed her cheek the way he had so many times before. His chest tightened as he dropped his hand, the excitement had been built for so long just to touch her again, but it was a resisted touch at the least. He didn't want to do anything rash to her again. Not without her permission in the time of their reunion. Though there was no question in Killian's eyes how much he wanted to hold her as lovers do and hear her speak those long awaited words of love.

He stood from the bench and looked around himself at the flowers. He had seen such flowers in New York on many walks through Central Park with Eva. They had been her favorite, but his favorite was lilies. The way she smelled of them when he lied next to her in bed as she slept the day away. Killian never really slept when they spent their nights together. It was not every night that he got to have her by his side in those times, but maybe now he would never have to be without her. They could wear their bands again. He had been wanting to wear his for quite some time. But he pushed that from his memory. He turned and looked at Amara. "Let's take a walk." He held out his hand to her, wishing she would take it and never let go. He didn't ever want to let go of her again. But there would be a time when they would have to part ways before sunrise. He didn't want this night to end.[/limegreen]

[Amara Ramirez]

Eva stared at his hand and a vision flitted into her mind. The entrance to a cathedral. She could hear and see even smell everything in vividness that told her that it was more than just a passing memory. The sound of the rain pattering ceaselessly on the high roof. Even the way Killian smelled. There was no other way to describe it but beautiful and strong. Resolute even. Even in this memory Killian held out his hand to her asking her silently to join him. To trust him. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her. She was confident in herself. In him even. She barely knew him at that point. He was just a man she had only met a while before this memory had taken place. Eva reached out and took his hand. Her eyes flew open and she realized that she had taken Killian’s hand in real time. She looked at her hand in his for a moment as if deciding if this were truly what she wanted. It was an easy question to answer. She wanted to stay with Killian. She wanted to know what she had been missing these past years. His touch to her cheek had sent delighted shivers down her spine. Eva intertwined her fingers with his loving the way it felt as if their hands had been made specifically for only each other’s.

Eva stood beside Killian, her eyes trained only on him. She was oblivious to everything around. The flowers she had seen before in her lifetime but they had never struck a chord with her as she knew they did with Killian. It invoked memories in him like hearing church bells invoked memories in her. So many memories that she wanted back. Eva thought about his kiss earlier. How it had sent her involuntarily into those memories she had been missing. Did he know that such a thing would happen? Was his eagerness for her to remember put into such a kiss? Eva let the guard on her emotions down and she could see Killian in a whole different light. He wasn’t a stranger to her anymore. She brought her free hand up for a moment as if to brush his face as he had done with hers but let it drop after a moment. Instead Eva bit her lip for a moment as if pondering what she were about to do then swiftly pressed her lips against his. She had kissed other men since him but none of them had felt right. Kissing Killian felt right and she knew that was the way it should be.